she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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