Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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