she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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