I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
