So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Holy shit dude........stairs
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