Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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