I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
