I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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