Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
