What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
