She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
