It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
