Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
