What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
