Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
