OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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