I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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