Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
