I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
