I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
