He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
