I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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