Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
