i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
