she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
