lets start a swedish sibling band together
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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