I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
