he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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