i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
