I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
