i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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