how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sorry my hands just texted you
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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