honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
