I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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