if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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