she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
