Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
