Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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