I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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