My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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