Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize