I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
