I can tuck mytits in my pants
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
