She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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