I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
