Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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