i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
