I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
