So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
