Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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