He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
