when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
