we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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