even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You don't make any sense
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