where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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