You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
