So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize