good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Text me some of your sweat
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
