Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
