i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
